|| Every temperament has its own peculiar strengths and weaknesses. And as the strengths enables us to succeed in relevant fields of endeavor in life, so also the various weaknesses will always attempt to scuttle our success. In marriage, couples could pull their individual temperament strengths together to build a happy family and have a successful marriage. However, their individual weaknesses will always be a major source of conflicts in the marriage. But it’s important you’re aware of the temperament weaknesses of your spouse so that you’ll be able to better manage them.
In this post, i want to share with you eight major weaknesses of a choleric personality that’s always the source of conflicts in their marriage and interpersonal relationships. But before then, let’s briefly look at some of the choleric’s major strengths in relation to their marriage, career and leadership.
|| The major strength that often counts for the cholerics in their career is, their can-do-attitude. A choleric is not afraid of taking on very difficult task that other temperaments may not want to embark on. For they’re very courageous, fearless, hardworking and very productive personalities. It’s basically for this reason that they’re easily made to head any leadership position that requires going to the field to carry out some practical tasks and accomplishing major goal at their workplace.
|| When it comes to marriage or eros relationship, cholerics strengths often lies in their ability to go out and work very hard to provide for the basic needs of their families. Being very decisive, plus giving guidelines and directions in the home for everyone to follow is also another strength of many cholerics. Most kids who were raised by choleric parents are often aware of what’s expected of them ahead of time.
In leadership, if you need a fearless courageous, resolute, visionary, and productive leader who’s not afraid of taking very tough decisions, and also prompt in decision making, then a choleric typifies these qualities. And it’s basically for this reason that they love to be in leadership positions, where they could easily accentuate these basic qualities and strengths. Nevertheless, the same way no temperament can succeed on its own in leadership without the input of others, cholerics will also have to work with other temperaments who shares in their visions. Read: The role of temperament in leadership.
|| Having looked at some of the major strengths of cholerics with respect to their career, marriage and leadership style. It’s time we consider some of their weaknesses that often affects them negatively in life, especially in their marriage or erotic relationship and also their interpersonal relationship with others.
8 Major Weaknesses of Cholerics That Negatively Impacts Their Relationship
1. Anger & Aggression:
Anger is one of predominant choleric’s major weakness, his anger is more intense and mean than that of any other temperament. Like his typical sanguine counterpart, he does not hesitate to explode in anger whenever his feelings is undermined. Since they usually allow their feelings rather than reflective thoughts and reasoning preceed their actions, it’s not uncommon for them to react in an unreasonable and unintelligent manner sometimes. Cholerics personalities are no nonsense people, they do not pander to frivolities and unseriousness, or behaviours that are usually suggestive of emoting unreasonable feelings in others. Even unprovoked, they will rarely hesitate in being blunt and aggressive toward anyone who attempts to undermine them or behave in a way they considered disrespectful to their personality.
In their marriage, a typical choleric spouse does not find it funny when their sweetheart or loved ones displays any act of unseriousness when they’re in a sober mood. For a predominant choleric, there’s no jokes or frivolous behaviours when they’re in a serious sober reflection, they can be very aggressive during such moments. Don’t try to do anything or take any action that threaten or aimed at threatening and undermining them, else you would be met with stiff resistance, bluntness and belligerent attitude that will doubtlessly make you shudder at their quick and ferocious reaction. It’s basically for this reason that their heartthrobs usually avoids this aspect of their lifestyle, and they are the closest persons to them, who knows the best way of pacifying them.
2. Quick Tempered:
Among the four temperaments, cholerics have got the least boiling point, that they often boil off even at the lowest temperature. There is no other temperament that has got a short fuse, and can become very irascible at the slightest provocation more than predominant choleric personalities. In their marriage, their spouse will usually complain about their hot- tempered behaviour over a very negligible and inconsequential issue. Nothing gets a typical choleric pissed in their home and marriage more than; failure in achieving their goals, long range planning and too much analysis, asking them too many questions and expecting them to be detailed in giving their response or answer, or perhaps asking them questions about things they feel you should already know, making them repeat themself when they’re explaining something to you and of course unwillingness to cooperate with them in pandering to their decisions and opinions.
No other temperament often tells their spouse “please spare me all the details and analysis, my mind is made up” more than a predominant choleric spouse. Transfer of aggression is also not uncommon for typical choleric spouse in their home. If they fail to achieve their goal and target for the day or perhaps had an unpleasant experience at work, it’s not uncustomary for them to come back home and become very aggressive to members of their family at the least of anything. It is basically for this reason that you first of all need to watch the mood and countenance of your choleric spouse when they get back home before going ahead to ask them any question to avoid aggravating their ire, and consequently get their backlash. A predominant choleric spouse’s bad-tempered attitude no doubt induces fear in members of their family, more especially in their spouse and kids; for they are usually scared of his vituperations and backlash when angry.
3. Domineering:
Although a very decisive personality whose promptness in decision making can enable them to avert and forestall some impending dangers or perhaps prevent an unfortunate event from snowballing. But deeming it as unnecessary to consider their spouse in their plans and decision making process in order to get their input and consent doubtlessly typifies the choleric’s very domineering and high-handed attitude towards their sweetheart in marriage. Eventhough they may not be intentional about their domineering attitude, but by nature choleric personalities are subconsciously very domineering, unyielding and high-handed.
No one loves making all the rules and decisions in their marriage for both themselves and others more than a typical choleric spouse especially choleric husbands, and they will not hesitate to ride roughshod over anyone who tends to be against their decision. His desire to quickly act or do in order to achieve his goal and target makes him jettison planning, and deem it necessary of getting his spouse’s consent. Furthermore, his opinionated and narrow-minded nature is nevertheless the main culprit of his domineering attitude and inability to be considerate to the suggestions and opinions of his spouse. Cholerics only learns to listen to their spouse or pander to their opinions and suggestions when their own choices and decisions has constantly failed them.
4. High-handedness:
A choleric is a very forceful and pushy personality when it comes to getting something done or accomplished. No other temperament can be ruthlessly more forceful and overly ambitious than a hot choleric. He is a very hard-working, productive and capable individual, who does not have time for frivolities or horseplay. He loves work and activity, and this makes his partner complain often of neglect and abandonment, but he’ll lash out at them, and justify it with the fact that he’s working to provide everything that the family needs.
He’s a very ambitious person, who does not leave room for any act of unserious or non-chalant attitude when it comes to achieving his goals. For him, work time is work time, it’s no time for jokes or being emotional. In marriage, he’ll often drive his partner crazy with his high-handed and over burdening lifestyle, all in a bid to meeting his target. He could decide to make a rule that everyone must cut down their meal ration by a quarter, just so he could save more money to accomplish his personal project.
He could also make his partner work longer hours than is necessary, in order to meet his goal for the day. His frequent and inadvertent trampling on the rights of others, particularly his spouse, often breeds conflicts in his marriage, which negatively affects it. But if he can put the rights of others into consideration before doing anything, he’ll have less crisis in his marriage and less conflicts with people.
5. Hard To Please:
The most difficult person to please is a predominant choleric personality. There’s rarely anything you will do to warrant getting his approval and commendation. He is not a wicked or mean person per say in his relationship with others, but his independent, self-sufficient and egocentric lifestyle makes him feel no one deserves commendation for doing the job for which they are perhaps being paid to do or do the things that they ought to do. A feeling of being complacent about your job and perhaps lowering the bar in your effort usually makes him reticent of commending and complimenting you even if he is very convinced that you’ve done exceptionally well. However, the only way you could perceive that he appreciates your effort and he’s perhaps pleased with you, is when he grants you his approval to your request, gives or does something very nice for you that is rather unusual of him. But it’s usually a hard thing for him to vocally commend you or express so much excitement about your good deeds.
His spouse knows this about him, thus she will rarely expect her choleric husband to commend and compliment her after she had done excellently, but she believes that sooner than later he’ll grant her approval to go on that expensive trip, buy her that luxury car gift or grant her desire for any other thing she had asked for. Sometimes, a typical choleric also believes that what’s there to compliment and eulogize you for when they are self-sufficient enough to do and achieve the same thing you have done. But if predominant cholerics knows that their spouse, loved ones and others are looking up to him for approval, therefore learn to commend and appreciate them whenever they’ve done very well, they will make better spouses and parents in their private homes and also better leaders who can bring out the best in others.
Being hard to please is another major weakness of the choleric temperament. A Choleric is very hard to please, eventhough he feels contended and satisfied with what you’ve done, he will still find it very difficult to commend or applaud you. He often believes commending or applauding you, will make you feel too important, and you become complacent about your job. He is the type that will hardly applaud and compliment their partner for looking beautifully dressed, despite the fact that he admires them. Cholerics ought to know that people working under or with them, particularly their spouse, looks up to them for approval, and if they can develop the attitude of commending or applauding those working for or with him, it will definitely spur them to do more and better.
6. Unsympathetic & Unemotional:
Choleric parents and of course parents of other temperaments must endeavor to raise their choleric kids with enormous amount of love, care and attention; for if not raised to be loving and compassionate, choleric children grow up to become very unemotional and unsympathetic adults towards the feeling and predicaments of others, and their milk of human kindness will be almost dried up before they’re 18. Eventhough cholerics are naturally unemotional and unsympathetic, but good parenting and parental upbringing with full dose of love, affection and attention will no doubt be able to moderate their attitude. Regardless of anything, being unemotionally unsympathetic is one of the major natural weaknesses of the choleric personality in marriage.
Predominant choleric spouse has got the least developed emotion of the four temperaments. Consequently, his natural underdeveloped emotions usually makes him unable to, or reluctantly express sympathy towards the plight of their spouse or loved ones. They will rather grimace over their unfortunate situation and try to console and condole them for a while, but they will not hesitate to express their frustration should they become very inconsolable. Typical choleric personalities seldom cry and shed tears regardless of the circumstance. Tears seems to have dried up from their eyes before they are 12. Therefore, they’re usually irritated by the tears of others and it often drives them berserk; for they always wonder why anyone should cry. Consequently, empathizing with others in their moments of grief usually come with so much struggle and unimaginable frustrations.
Amongst all the temperaments, a choleric has the least developed emotions. He’s a very callous and unsympathetic person, who often finds it difficult empathizing with others, and deeply feel their Pains. The tears of others often drives him berserk, and he finds no justifiable reason why they should cry. He is the type of individual that is not patient enough to empathize with their partner and console them during their moments of grief, not because he’s a wicked person, but that’s just their nature. He will often be seen angrily yelling at them for being so inconsolable. But if cholerics can be a bit more patient in commiserating with those who are grieving or ❤️ heartbroken, he’d have a happier and peaceful marriage or interpersonal relationship.
7. Making Unilateral Decisions:
Cholerics are very determined and decisive individuals. They love to make decisions for themself as well as for others, and this attitude sometimes does not go down well with the people they’re supposed to work side by side with. In marriage, they love to be the boss, and the one making all the decisions in their home, without deeming it necessary to seek the input and opinion of their partner. This often breeds inner anger in their partner and consequently leads to conflicts, especially when their unilateral decisions does not yield the desired succeess. Cholerics needs to realize that marriage isn’t a master- servant relationship, but a mutually symbiotic relationship. Thus, they must make deliberate efforts in carrying their partners along in every decision making, in order to have a ☮️ peaceful and successful marriage.
8. Inconsiderate & Insensitive:
By nature, cholerics are not considerate of others, and rarely are they sensitive to their feelings and emotional needs. Of the four basic temperaments, they’ve undoubtedly got the least developed emotion and emotional intelligence. No other temperament can be so unaccommodating and inconsiderate of other people’s nuances, opinions and behaviours more than a predominant choleric personality. For their lack of consideration for others and apparent display of insensitivity towards their feelings negatively impacts on their interpersonal relationship with them. In their marriage, a typical choleric husband will not hesitate to lambast his wife for questioning his late arrival from work. For in his bid to justifying himself for his home late coming attitude, he will yell at his wife with the fact that he works very hard to provide her needs and meet all of the basic needs of the family and what more does she want, without also considering the fact that his wife and kids equally needs his tender love, care and attention. This reaction is equally the same with a typical choleric wife if maybe she is the breadwinner of her home or the one footing majority of the bills.
If perhaps a predominant choleric spouse had conceived an opinion and already concluded on what he wants to do or achieve, it’s difficult for him to consider any other opinion and suggestions from their heartthrob especially if it’s at variance to theirs. Not untill they are convinced that their sweetheart’s opinions or suggestions are more potent and superior to theirs, they will never jettison theirs for any other, sometimes they may even have to make a very costly mistake while going ahead with their plans or decisions before they’ll consider your idea. The typical choleric spouse’s lack of consideration for the suggestions and opinions of their spouse and their shear insensitivity towards their emotional needs and desires always creates conflicts in their matrimonial home and also weakens the love bond between them and their sweetheart. Although cholerics are very responsive to the basic material and social needs of their spouse and kids, and they often work very hard to provide for them and meet these needs, but more often than not, they make them feel abandoned and neglected because of their insensitive and inconsiderate behaviours.
All the weaknesses of the choleric from number 1 to 4 are hinged around lack of consideration for the next person. However, being overly or excessively considerate of others is also a form of weakness. But cholerics must endeavor to strike a balance between considerate and total lack of consideration for others if they want to have a ☮️ peaceful relationship or marriage. I will advocate for them to be moderately considerate of others, in order to build a more peaceful and harmonious relationship. You can read the E-book how to live with a choleric sweetheart on Amazon kdp for more details about who a Choleric is, and how to relate with him or or in your erotic relationship.
How Can Cholerics Overcome Their Temperament Weaknesses?
In one of my previous post about how to manage the weaknesses associated with our temperament. I made it clear that influence is one of the major way we could be able to manage our temperament weaknesses. When we always interact and relate with other persons whose got a temperament different from ours, we unknowingly influence each other with our basic temperament strengths and qualities. As a typical choleric, by relating and interacting more closely with a typical melancholy, despite how assertive and domineering, you may be, you’ll no doubt be gradually influenced by their strengths and qualities. And the melancholy or perhaps phlegmatic will also become influenced by your courageous, decisive, dogged and self- sufficient qualities. This helps to balance and augment our individual strengths and weaknesses, and also shapes our character.
However, in addition to managing our temperament weaknesses through influence, it’s also important that we consider permanently overcoming or getting rid of them. It’s for this reason I want to recommend the Spirit controlled temperament written by Tim Lahaye to you. This book made a huge difference in my life.
Thanks for reading.
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Rev.Jefferson Kwasi Agbotro
Development Consultant